Online Dating and the Balancing Act



From datingallhours.com

Until recently, I considered myself a cynical college student, especially in the realm of relationships. I thought I would always be single and my fear was that my last resort would be online dating. I, like others in society, felt that meeting someone online had a stigma. But now that people are working more, taking away precious soul-mate-finding time, the stigma around online dating is disappearing.

eHarmony is the first online dating service that I remember seeing advertised. Since then Cupid.com, match.com and perfectmatch.com are just a few of the hundreds of online dating sites. People's reasons for turning to online dating vary from being too shy to approach someone in person to a simple lack of time. Online dating is a plausible choice for striking a balance between work and personal life.

Anna Hennings and Tania Khadder from Excelle.com, a website devoted to career-women, predict in their 2009 article Online Dating: Why and How to Do It that online dating will become more common as both men and women work longer hours and have less free time. They also comment that, due to the loss of jobs and economic recession, more single people are staying home, or at the office.

In many professions, single people are expected to stay late, work weekends, or work holidays so that married employees can go home to their family. Rosalind Baker, a professional matchmaker, said the following in her 2009 article Work/Life Balance for Singles During the Recession:

Many singles tell me that more is expected of them at work because they don't have a spouse waiting for them at home. [...] The married people in her department have to be home for dinner with the family by 7 pm so if there is something that has to be completed urgently it's left up to her to stay. [...] Rarely do the married staff stay behind.
 

Online dating...

...a perfect match.
From abc-machine-embroidery-designs.com





What people still need in life is a companion. No matter how much time work demands, people have an innate drive to find a life partner, and online dating makes it possible. But what if you are already married or dating someone and don't need online dating? Chances are you still need to find balance between work and relationships.

Linda and John Ballis talk about this balancing act in their 2011 article:

You can spend your whole life worrying about having more time or more money or more energy. However, true fulfillment begins with recovering the time that you might be “losing” within every moment you are alive. Think about it: now is the only time that you can truly live in.

The Ballis' recommend truly listening to the other person instead of thinking about the next thing you want to say. Following that guideline is especially important in online dating when trying to learn about another person.

If you find yourself short on time, don't worry, online dating is losing its stigma and is slowly becoming normal.

Typewriters, Word Processors, LAPTOPS?

How was it possible to write research papers before computers, especially laptops? What was writing like before font styles, color choices, and print size? Not to mention typing multiple drafts because of one mistake. As a college student, I don't know what I would do without my laptop (or a desktop computer). Despite my quality typing skills acquired in 7th grade, the backspace key gets a lot of hits due to my typos and my constantly changing train of thought.



Typewriter circa 1934

Personal typing technology used to consist of a typewriter followed by a word processor, both of which only allowed typing on paper stuck between the rollers. Now, we have word processing programs on our computers, allowing our laptops to be used for schoolwork, from literally producing the writing in Word to looking up information on the Internet.


Walking around North Dakota State University, I notice people on their laptops before, during, and after class. What could they possibly be doing for all that time? Does this constant laptop use get in the way of our personal life or does it take us away from our work? An article from February 14, 2010 called "Till Gadget Do We Part" on the Economic Times website discusses how couples' laptop use puts strain, and sometimes struggle, on their relationships.

Word processor circa 1980s

The article states that being constantly connected to a laptop for work-related purposes can put strain on a relationship. For example, instead of watching television and relaxing with your significant other after supper, you are drawn instead to checking your email or finishing up a report for the next day, possibly causing some resentment from your partner.



Dell laptop circa 2011

According to research done by Boston College and the University of Massachusetts at Lowell researchers in 2005, students who use their laptops for schoolwork, especially writing papers, performed better on a Massachusetts standardized test. In contrast, students who spent ample time on their laptops for recreation didn't do as well in the standardized test's reading category. With the ability to multitask so easily, college students actually use their laptops for work, for fun, and for keeping in touch with family... all simultaneously.

In a March 2010 article by Eric Adler and Laura Bauer, experts agree to disagree. Some say that technology will potentially destroy relationships while others believe that relationships will flourish. I suppose it all comes down to personal control, however, for college students, opting out of laptop usage is almost impossible.

It's amazing that simple typewriters and word processors have evolved into laptops that allow us to work, play, and maintain (or mess up) personal relationships at the same time. Researchers are still in hot debate about the positives and negatives of laptops for students, but I think most of us would agree that we couldn't get along without them.